secret conclusions
by my-achtung-baby
Summary: Tall, Pale, Muscled, angular. Very handsome, but it seemed to her, partially dead.' Hermione is ready to fight the dark side. Draco is struggling to overcome a horiffic past. Why has he changed so much? 'it hurts me so much to see you cry...'
1. i didnt just think that!

**Chapter 1: Secret Boy**

Hermione granger, fit and well at 18 years, strode through one of the more the derelict streets of London. Reaching her destination, she stopped directly between two horrible looking houses.

_Number 12 Grimmauld place_ she thought determinedly, and the two houses promptly sprung apart to accommodate a dirty, grimy mansion that had just materialized in front of the girl.

Hermione stepped up to the door and rapped sharply three times. After a moment, the door was thrown open by Nymphadora Tonks

"Wotcher Hermione! Haven't seen you in ages!" Tonks seized Hermione into a tight embrace, but withdrew quickly the draw Hermione into the house.

"Hey Tonks, I'm so Excited to be back, are Ron Ginny and Harry already here?"

Tonks carefully shut and magically locked the heavy door behind them. "Yep upstairs if you want to go see them, dinners in an hour ok?"

"Excellent I'm starving! I'll see you then."

Hermione Bounced up the stairs, positively bursting to see her best friends again. After they had graduated (except Ginny who was about to go back for her 7th year) Hermione had spent nearly the whole summer with her parents, knowing that she wouldn't get to see hem very much for awhile, being fully involved with the Order this year.

She wasn't looking where she was going, and as she bounded around the corner she crashed full on into another person

"oh I'm sorry I-" Hermione looked up from the ground to face Draco Malfoy, the last person she would expect to be hanging around the Order of the Phoenix. Draco was looking as shocked as she felt, but managed to pull himself together much quicker than she could

"I, err, sorry…um here" he offered his hand to help her up, which she took, still too much in a state of surprise to remember that never before would she have taken a hand offered by Malfoy.

As Hermione was pulled to her feet, she had time to notice the change in Draco Malfoy, both physically and mentally. Appearance wise Draco had grown to a height to rival even that of Ron, and Draco's face was more angular, and defined. Growing up had also provided him with broader shoulders, longer legs, and from what she could tell by the ease in which he pulled her from the floor, and young man's muscle and strength. However Hermione sensed something never before felt from Draco. He seemed less superior; his eyes were empty and lonely, ad his brow was furrowed in constant apprehension. This was hardly the Draco she knew from school. However it had been a long time since seeing him. He had returned for his seventh year for only a short while, before disappearing mysteriously. Teachers assured students that he was fine, but refused point blank to give any details.

Snapping back to reality, Hermione realised that had been staring face to face with Draco for long seconds. Malfoy was glancing at her with a mixture of frightened surprise and curiosity, before hastily rearranging his face into a scowl, sidestepping her and striding down the stairs.

_No snide insult? _She thought to herself _this can't be right, he doesn't seem right_. But watching Draco's square back descend the stairs, she couldn't help but think this perhaps was a Malfoy she liked.

_Oh my goodness did I just think that! _Hermione hurried off to avoid her own question and occupied herself in finding Harry and the others.

"Is anyone in-oof!" Hermione opened a door only to be pounced on by Ginny Weasly. Seconds later she felt two more people collide with her and join in the hug.

"Hermione!" shrieked Ginny

"You're here!" yelled Harry

"We all missed you so MUCH!" Shouted Ron at the top of his lungs, gently shaking Hermione to emphasise his point.

"Yes, yes I'm here, and I've missed you all too!" the euphoria of seeing her old friends was creeping back and she was trying not to grin like a clown. They all backed away from her to let her into the room and sat down on two beds. Hermione noted the Ginny was sitting close to Harry, and Harry's and slowly came to rest on Ginny's jean clad leg, just above her knee. Smiling to herself, she turned to look at Ronald Weasly. With a small pang of sadness she felt no lingering attraction beyond close friends, and she guessed he felt the same about her. The two had dated the year before, before breaking up rather messily, then eventually making up to become almost close as ever. It had taken Harry's nearly dying to do it, but nevertheless it was a relief to be on excellent terms again.

"So what have you been up to" inquired Ron

"oh you know, just hanging around my mum and dad, you know I wont see them much this year, so I had to be with then for awhile."

"Of course" replied Harry "But we're so glad to have you back 'Mione, I _know _Ginny is!"

"honestly these boys are so boring sometimes I'm so glad you've come to rescue me" but even as she spoke her hand found Harry's, and Hermione couldn't help but think that the summer hadn't been entirely a bore for Ginny.

"Well it's good to be back here anyway, just like old times right?" Hermione's Mind drifted to the unexpected classmate she had just met, and her face fell.

Almost as if reading her mind, Ron said "uh, Hermione…did you know there's someone else staying here er from um, Hogwarts?

Obviously from the look on his face he expected her to say "oh really? Well blast, I can't imagine for the life of me who it might be… oh go on then….Luna Lovegood?"

Instead she just sighed and said tiredly "Yeh. Malfoy. I er, bumped into him earlier…" venturing onto unsafe ground she continued "he seems to have sort of changed a lot, don't you think? I saw him and it seems he has, for the b-better…I um, I…I-think" Her voice got higher and shaker near the end as she saw Ron, Harry And Ginny's Faces change. Ginny looked thoughtful, Harry looked sarcastically skeptical ad Ron's face looked outraged

"Malfoy? Change, f-for the BETTER? What's wrong with you Hermione?" Ron spluttered

"Well really there's no need for that, its possible right? Right?" Hermione was taken aback and strangely upset by Ron's remark, and not knowing why just made her angrier.

"Hermione, this is Malfoy you're talking about…" Harry tried to reason.

"I just..." Hermione suddenly felt close tears "I-honestly cant you two be a little more open minded? A-And its not as if I'm even defending him is it? I was JUST saying alright? Don't jump down my throat!" She turned away ashamed of her burning eyes.

"Um DUH yes you were defending him 'Mione! This is the Guy who made our lives hell? A guy like him with a family like his will NEVER CHANGE!" Ron was on his feet and yelling before he even realised. It seemed that Ginny had noticed that the situation was getting out of hand, and stood up too, but could not decide what to say, and before she had a chance to say anything, Hermione rushed from the room wiping her eyes.

"NICE GOING IDIOT! HOW COULD YOU YELL AT HER WHEN SHES JUST GOT HERE! SO SMOOTH! AND YOU HARDLY HELPED THE SITUATION EITHER HARRY. HONESTLY!"

Hermione could hear Ginny yelling from halfway down the hall. She found a room that looked uninhabited and threw herself on the bed. _Why on earth did I say those things, _she thought bitterly _and why did I get so upset? _Then she suddenly remembered Draco looking at her in the hall, with without a trace if hatred, and just a hint of angst. She thought of his glinting eyes, messy hair, toned arms and angular jaw. Forgetting all about dinner, and hunger, she fell asleep watching her meeting with him replayed over and over in her eyelids.

_The little room was dusty, devoid of furniture and dark, barely any light penetrating through the small, high set grimy window. A crumpled figure wearing torn wizards robes lay lifelessly on the stone floor. Just visible was a head covered in mussed blonde hair._

"_Get up Draco" commanded a tall figure in a doorway that hadn't been there moments ago. He bore the same mane of white blonde hair, and wore similar robes, in much better condition_

_The figure on the floor stirred. Slowly, and with much effort, the head turned and rose slightly from the floor. The face was one that once must have been handsome, but now was covered in dirt, blood and multicolored bruises._

"_Nott, get him up" a tall burly man stomped in the room, grabbed the young man by the arms and dragged him violently up. Still he hung limp from Nott's grip, hardly able to support himself. His previously lean muscled limbs were now thin and weak. His collarbones jutted out alarmingly from below his neck and the skin on his chest was stretched tightly over fully defined ribs. Dark circled hollowed his eyes where they weren't bruised, and his lips cracked and bled. _

"_The dark lord is not happy with you son. Ohh no" Lucius drawled malevolently "first failing to kill Dumbledore, then saying you will not kill Harry Potter's close friends. Why you will not, I will never understand I suppose. Still. _Crucio_." He stated almost casually. Nott was forced to release Draco Malfoy and he slid to the ground, writhing, but not uttering a sound, for that would be showing weakness, what his father hated most._

_Finally the curse was lifted. Draco lay panting with pain and exhaustion on the floor again._

"_Now we must go, the Dark lord Summons me" Lucius sneered. But first he leant forward and dragged his only son up by the front of his tattered robes_

"_You are being punished rightfully boy. And until you agree to do what the dark lord wants, this I how it's going to be" he leered at Draco, then dropped him to the ground. He turned to leave, then, very suddenly turned around and kicked his son hard in the gut. Draco merely grunted in pain. Then his father swept out the door._

_However Nott remained. _

"_The Dark Lord says its time for more punishment for disobedience mister Malfoy" he discarded his wand, smirked at Draco, drew back his balled fist and slammed it down…_

Draco woke tangled in sheets, drenched in a chilly sweat. He found himself breathing heavily as he glanced round his bedroom on the top story of the Headquarters. _They can't get me _he told himself _they won't find me here, they can't, please don't let them find me…_


	2. confrontation, confusion, passion

AN: hey this has been a really quick update I just want to get it out there! Hope you like it, in each chapter their relationship intensifies

**Chapter 2: Confrontation, confusion, passion -Secret Feelings**

Hermione woke with a start early in the morning. Checking her watch by the moonlight, the time was 3:23 am. The events of last night came flooding back to her and made her grimace, which turned into a blush when she remembered what she had fallen asleep thinking about. _Well I doubt I'm going to get back to sleep_ she thought. Maybe she would go and get something to eat in the kitchen, and then see how she felt. At the moment she felt like shed been punched in the stomach, though that was probably shame. _Nothing a piece of warm jam on toast can't fix_ she mused, and fumbled her way out the door and down the stairs

Moving more confidently she walked lightly into the kitchen and went straight to the bread box. She sensed a presence, so she turned slowly around. _There!_ At the end of the long table, hidden in the shadows so she could not make out who or what it was. Her body tensed, the shadow moved silently, its back was turned. _An intruder! It could only be a dark wizard to get in here…don't panic Hermione! _She inched slowly to a wand someone had luckily left lying on the bench. She extended her hand, noiselessly grasped the wand, pointed it toward the shadow and desperately thought the spell she wished to cast.

Cords flew out of the wand tip, catching the shadow person by surprise. Hermione heard a male grunt just before the cords knocked him down and snaked around his wrists, ankles and mouth.

"_Lumos!"_ Her voice was high and strained. She crept forward cautiously to peer over the table at her captive _it couldn't be Voldemort himself, surely not..._ her mind was quickly jumping to conclusions, as minds often do in perilous situations. Fearfully she looked down to see...Draco Malfoy staring back at her. An involuntary gasp escaped her. Seeing the overturned glass of firewhiskey she pieced it together…

"oh goodness what have I done?" she cried, and without hesitation rushed down to his side.

"oh-oh-I-oh-I'm so sorry! Oh goodness! ...Oh! I don't know the counter curse! Oh no..' she was frazzled by the situation, and begun untying the binding that held him. Finally she was done, and stood back with her face reddening, only just aware of how close she had just been with Draco. He stood up rubbing his wrists, the sat back on the table watching her.

"Draco I'm really sorry! I-I just jumped to a conclusion and-oh I really am sorry" she eyed him earnestly, suddenly desperate for forgiveness. He was wearing just a tight white t-shirt and black cotton boxers. She couldn't help but notice that she was right, she certainly had quite a bit of muscle to him.

"Mm" Draco stared, unnerving her, then did something completely unexpected. He smiled.

"That's ok. I jumped to conclusions too. I thought that they had found-so why are you here anyway? Can I have my wand?"

"Oh er yes" she handed him his wand "I couldn't sleep… you?" she had noticed the abrupt change of topic, but wasn't going to press.

"Same couldn't sleep…nightmares" he added hesitantly, then instantly looked as though he wanted to take it back Draco felt a strange feeling coming over him. Like a bond between him and this girl he always used to despise. He shifted up the table a little closer to where she stood.

For nearly a whole minute each stared at the other. Draco admired the new, adult Hermione, who looked suddenly so perfectly proportioned, feminine, sweet in her flannel pyjama pants and singlet top. Hermione on the other hand was taking in more of the grown up Draco she had seen that previous afternoon. Tall, pale, muscled, angular. Very handsome, but it seemed to her, partially dead. The she started noticing things she hadn't seen before. The hand closest to her was littered with long scars, a few extra on his arms. There was another, shorter and thicker at the bottom of the right side of his jaw. Everywhere she looked, there were faint scars to be seen. _He even looks too thin_ she thought.

Looking back up, she met his eyes. Deep, grey expressive gazed into her big hazel ones. After a few seconds, he leant forward so his face was just inches away from hers. It wasn't imposing, as it once would have been. She smiled slightly, and he smiled back.

He covered the remaining distance and brought his lip to hers, barely touching, but passion burned in his eyes. Hermione saw, and acting purely on instinct returned the kiss.

She wrapped her hands around his back, and he slipped one hand round her waist and the other to the back of her head, drawing her in.

The kiss grew more passionate as they sat back on the table. Draco ran his hands over her back, and she combed her fingers through his hair. She then found his hands, and felt the scars.

Draco withdrew suddenly.

"I…sorry" he mumbled, and stalked towards the door

"No! Comeback please!" Hermione cried.

Draco turned to look at her.

"I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry. My fault. No problem." He stated clearly and unemotionally

"oh come on! It was my fault too. And since when is it anyone's fault? Maybe it just happened, maybe it was right!" Hermione was raising her voice. It had felt right, and now he was blaming himself.

He reluctantly came and sat back down. He felt terrible for enticing someone as pure and good as Hermione. He didn't deserve her.

"Listen, where did you get those scars?" she asked pointing at his hand.

Draco was suddenly alert. "Nowhere. Don't ask. Please? I'm going to bed" He sped off before she could speak.

_What is with us? There's obviously something there, am I actually falling in love with Draco Malfoy arch nemesis? I just wish he would tell me what changed him. It must have been something horrible. _Hermione's thoughts carried her all the way to her bed where she collapsed and fell immediately asleep

Draco lay tossing and turning upstairs.

_The cloaked figure hurried to keep up with two taller people, teachers, as they lead him from the grounds of Hogwarts to an awaiting escort, to take him to someplace safe…………_

_Nighttime again, angry men are streaming into the room. Dragging him roughly from his bed, silencing him and taking him away to meet the dark lord…_

AN: Please please please review! You would make me so happy! Seriously, especially if you are an author and you also write stories like this that I might enjoy. Thank you so much! Mwa!


	3. Embarrassing situations

Here we are another quick update!

**Chapter 3: Embarrassing situations and last chances -Secret Love**

"We can't leave her alone in the house with him!"

"She'll murder us when she wakes up and finds out!"

"Well I'm sorry boys but we really need to go to the ministry and I need you help. I don't want to wake either of them up…" Hermione lay I bed with her eyes closed, groggily listening to Ron Harry and Tonks' voices in the hallway.

"Maybe we should wake her, bring her with us."

"Ron, she's exhausted" There was Ginny.

"But what if…what if he _does _something to her?"

"_Ron"_ Tonks was back "I trust him ok? Don't ask. Now we have to leave" Hermione heard footsteps on the staircase, and eventually a door slamming and locking loudly. She guessed from the conversation that her friends had just left from their meeting at the Ministry about fighting Voldemort, and had left her alone in the house with Draco.

_He must still be asleep_ she thought, and she began wondering where his room was. Pure curiosity carried her up the stairs to the very top floor just below the attic, and she began peeping in each room.

She got to a door near the end and peered in to see a shirtless Draco lying twisted in the sheets of a bed in the corner. She paused to look at him, taking her time because he was asleep, and would never know.

He groaned in his sleep, which brought her back to reality. Not wanting to be caught staring; she rushed back to her room, and changed into muggle jeans and a singlet top, having always preferred these clothes to her robes. And just a tiny part of her was wanting to impress the young man sleeping upstairs, so she smoothed her hair down into sleek curls and applied a tiny bit of makeup. Then she ventured out into the house, but finding it silent as before, went into the sitting room and sat on the couch, wondering what she was going to do with herself.

Once again, she felt a presence. _How is it I can always feel him around _she mused. She looked up to face a tired worn Malfoy, barefoot and wearing jeans and the same t-shirt as last night.

The silence stretched between them.

"I was awake before, you know" he said evenly.

"Oh well I was just seeing if anyone else was in the house with me" she lied pathetically, she could feel the colour rising in her face

"Would you like to sit down?"

"Ok"

She eyed the hand placed on the arm of the couch.

"I'm sorry I asked about-"

"Don't mention it"

She reached out and took his hand, covering it in both of hers. She could feel the raised bumps, and it made her want to cry, she guessed there had been a lot of pain involved with those marks, but didn't dare ask.

She raised her gaze to meet his own, and it was clear they were both thinking of the night before.

"I really am sorry about that you know" he spoke gently, something Draco would never have done before. _What made him change?_

"I'm not. I'm glad" she whispered defiantly. This felt right. Very right.

He searched her eyes for a moment before replying "you're too good for me."

This shocked Hermione so much she nearly fell to the ground. Her? Too good for mister pureblood? She calmed herself down and said carefully

"I wish one day you'll tell what happened to you." His eyes filled with misery hearing her say this, and judging but the distant fear on his face he was remembering something unpleasant.

"Maybe" He hesitated, then pulled her into an embrace.

"Draco Malfoy if someone had told me I was going to say this 4 years ago I would have been shocked but please will you just kiss me?

Draco was startled but nevertheless glad for a reason

He pulled her towards him, shifting her so that she was just about sitting on his lap. He kissed with hunger and need; she kissed back just as fiercely. Everything else was out of the picture as Hermione ran her hands over hard abdominal muscle; then reached up to feel powerful shoulder blades through his shirt.

Draco smoothed her hair back from her face, then wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her even more against him.

They fell sideways onto the couch, but soon came up for air. Neither felt any need to take it further at this point Draco sat up, head tipped back against the couch, breathing deeply. As Hermione snuggled up next to him she felt is arm snake around to her back. She let her head lie on his chest, and promptly fell asleep.

He sat stroking her hair, and eventually drifted off to a blissfully dreamless sleep.

"Well of course there aren't any members of the Order around, they're all abroad on missions. I'm only here to look after you guys…not that you need looking after of course…but-"

Tonks strode into the sitting carrying a plate of sandwiches, Ginny close behind. The both stopped when they saw Hermione and Draco, curled up asleep on the lounge, her leaning on him with his arm around her.

"oh my" muttered Tonks. Ginny stared. What a sight! There was no denying they actually looked quite cute together.

"Oh come one more game after lunch Harry? I won't get your bishop right off this time…" Ron trailed off as he saw the scene in the sitting room.

Right on cue, the couple stirred and woke up to see two inquiring faces, one shocked, and one disgusted face.

The four intruders seemed at a loss of what to say.

"Oh. Hello!" Hermione stammered. "We were, just tired that's all. I must have er, slipped onto you while I was sleeping Draco, erm, sorry!" she drew back hastily as Malfoy did the same, his face flushing.

"Uh" Harry looked as though trying to comprehend the situation. Ron however seemed very clear with what he had just walked into.

"Hermione! What. Are. You. Doing?" Ron radiated barely suppressed anger.

Hermione and Draco decided it was time to leave, so they both pushed through the door and hastened to their separate rooms.

"oh don't go! We have lunch!" Tonks called halfheartedly. "Ginny..."

"I'll go talk to her"

"I'm coming" growled Ron

"Oh no you're not! She needs a friend right now and you're not being one!" Ginny flounced huffily from the room.

"'Mione?"

"C'min" Despite the embarrassing confrontation, Hermione was feeling good

Ginny came in and sat on her bed.

"Please tell me what's going on. I won't tell the others if you don't want." She said gently.

"Well alright. It seems to me, I suppose" Hermione fiddled with her bedspread "well, I think that…Ginny I think I'm in love!" She looked up at Ginny, dreading her response. Instead Ginny merely pondered what she had said with the same thoughtful look she had word yesterday.

"Well. If he has changed, I think you would be able to tell 'Mione. I trust your judgment on this one. Though perhaps it would be better to keep this a secret for the time being"

Hermione sighed deeply with relief.

"oh Thank goodness you understand Ginny. I feel so strange with him, as if were connected, meant to be, there's just something there, oh I'm sorry I'm rambling!"

Ginny laughed "that's quite alright. Actually what your saying is sort of what I feel like with Harry" she stared dreamily into space. It was Hermione's turn to laugh.

"Good for you. But listen Ginny; do you think you could get us some time together, just every so often? It would mean so much to me."

"Of course. I'll keep them busy whenever possible. You helped me once right?" her thoughts drifted back to Harry.

The girls hugged tightly and Ginny left to go back to the others.

In the following days and weeks, with the help of Ginny, Draco and Hermione met up in any deserted rooms they could find, when they were sure the others were not going to barge in. The rest of the time they kept their distance, and though Hermione Decided that Tonks suspected something, Tonks was smart enough to keep her mouth closed and the boys remained in the dark.

In the time they did have together, their relationship moved much faster than Hermione's with Ron ever had. The laughed, kissed, cuddled, cried and debated with each other. They told each other things they had never said to another before. In just two weeks they knew each others fears, hopes, dreams, dislikes and passions.

However it came to Ginny's last day in the mansion. The next day she would be going back to Hogwarts, and Hermione was worried that Ginny had been such a help that her and Draco wouldn't be able to find time by themselves. However it came to noon a Ginny suddenly "realized" that she had forgotten to pick up potion ingredients and new dress robes. Tonks had to go of course, and Harry wanted to come along with Ginny. Ron eventually agreed to come and see Fred and George. There was no question about whether Draco was invited. Harry and Ron were still feeling hostile towards him, so he would be left behind.

"What about you Hermione? Up for a visit to diagon alley? We're all going" Tonks asked.

Hermione was quick to work out the situation and so made up a story.

"Oh no I'm sorry I don't think I am er, up for it. I have a terrible headache; I might just go nap the afternoon away." Ron looked disappointed, Harry only mildly so, for she noticed he had his arm around Ginny's waist. Tonks was looking suspicious but resigned, and Ginny was beaming.

"Oh well then see you later! Hope you get better soon alright?" Now come on everyone there are at least three dress robe shops I want to see before they shut!" Ginny bustled everyone out the door, before turning around and giving Hermione a big lusty wink

Hermione was determined to make this day count, who knows when they would have time together again?

A cliffhanger-ish ending, sorry. Also sorry if you found this chapter just a little bit slow, but don't worry because the next couple of chapters are really good! Two of my favourite chapters so far, they really explore things more. Review please, please, please! Thank you !


	4. Hurt and Love

**Chapter 4: **

**A**/N its been awhile since I updated but its worth the wait because this is a good chapter! Hope you enjoy it and please PLEASE review when you're done, thank you so much x x

By the way, this chapter has a fair bit more adult themes, as will the story from now on. If you don't like violence or sexual content, this probably isn't for you

**Hurt And Love**

…**Scary Secrets**

_The door banged open. The thin figure stopped pacing and sank into a large regal armchair._

"_You have him?" the voice was strangely high._

"_Aye we do" A tall thuggish man came and knelt in front of the sitting man. He then looked up to see the bone white face, and slit red eyes._

"_Then bring him in now" Voldemort commanded._

_Two similar built men came through the door, dragging with them a struggling boy, barely an adult. He had pale blonde hair messed up over his face, and already sported several bruises from his captors. He was pushed violently to the floor in front of Voldemort, and was forced to his knees, shaking in anger and fear._

"_I am not pleased with you, young Malfoy"_

"_Why the hell would I care?" the youngest Malfoy spat. From nowhere a fist flew at him from the right, catching his cheekbone. _

"_Do not touch him! For now." The dark lord eyed Draco Malfoy. Draco looked up defiantly, but Voldemort merely sneered._

"_Bring him closer to me" he ordered, and the two thugs grabbed his arms and pulled him up close to the chair. Voldemort extended his wand. The end was oddly sharp, and when he pressed it against Draco's jaw it pierced the skin and blood spilled to the floor._

"_I do NOT tolerate disobedience. Your behavior has been quite definitely disobedient. So you will be punished. And that is how it will stay until you submit"_

"_I'll just have to die then" growled Draco, his eyes filled with hatred and malice._

_Voldemort considered the boy in front of him." It is a pity you grew away from your father's ways. Had you stayed true to your family beliefs, you would not be in this position. Put him down." He directed he last part to his two henchmen, who dropped Draco and backed away several feet._

"_Now you will begin to learn. CRUCIO"_

After making sure her friends were definitely gone, Hermione bounded up the stairs, slowing only when she reached the top floor, where she breathlessly knocked on Malfoy's door

"Draco…they're gone...it's me…" she peered around the doorframe. He was asleep. _Oh well, I might as well wake him up, who knows how much time we have?_ She walked into the room over to his bed.

There she noticed something she hadn't seen at the door. Draco was tossing and turning, ripping at the sheets, and writhing as if in agony. His face was scrunched up in an expression of severe pain. Hermione's jaw dropped. _Is he having a dream, like the nightmares he said he had? He never said what they were about…or what if something really is wrong? Maybe he's under a curse? Oh god I had better wake him._

"Draco? D-Draco, wake up" she squeaked. She came over to him and, deciding it was the only way to snap him out of it, seized him by the shoulders and shook him vigorously.

This worked perfectly. He woke with a yell, and with unseeing eyes punched her hard in the stomach, then grabbed Hermione's face and shoved her aggressively backwards. It took her by surprise and with a small scream she flew back, hit the wall with a great thump and slid to the ground. Her breath was knocked from her and for the first time, she was frightened out of her wits of Draco Malfoy.

Draco was lying back, panting and shivering. Sweat made trails down his chest and back under a black t-shirt. Slowly he came back to reality and looked around him. The he saw Hermione, with who he was madly in love with, crying and cowering away from him in a corner. He then remembered waking from his horrible dream, seeing someone bearing over him, and having not completely come out of the scene in his nightmare he had shoved the person away as brutally as possible, believing it to be a death eater.

"Oh Hermione. I-" he got up and moved towards her to help.

"DON'T TOUCH ME" she screamed hysterically. No-one had ever been so rough with her.

"I'm sorry! I know it doesn't help but I am!" he cried. The look of raw terror in her eyes was horrible, more painful than anything. He just didn't know what he could do to make things right _I attacked her! She won't ever come near me again!_

Even as he said this Hermione was thinking rationally again. When he had attacked her, he hadn't seemed right._ Perhaps it wasn't him being himself, but what then? Is he mad?_ These were hardly comforting thoughts, her heart threatened to jump out of her chest.

"What's wrong with you?" she demanded desperately

He moved forward, but still she shrank back. So he backed off, not wanting to frighten her more, and sat on the bed.

"When I woke up, I'd been having, well, a bad dream. I thought, and I don't know why, but I thought you were a death eater that had found me, and was taking me back…back to him" Draco shivered involuntarily at his thoughts, then turned his attention back to Hermione.

"I know it doesn't make what I did any better, but I was blinded, I didn't know it was you! Please let me help you" he tried moving toward her again. She watched him cautiously as he approached, but did not back away. She could not speak, but instead just stared up at him.

Draco came and sat down next to her. She flinched as he touched her, but relaxed when she felt hands gentler than she ever could have thought stroke her face, then take her hands.

"Where does it hurt?" he asked gently. Hermione tried several times to find her voice before she could actually make it work.

"I-" she stared into his loving eyes and all her anxiety drained away. She tried speaking again.

"My…Ohh" she groaned clutching her stomach "it-it hurts-" she cut herself of with a retching sound, and began to throw upon the floor

Draco pulled her onto his lap and lent her forward, holding her hair back patiently as she threw up over and over. After a full 3 minutes it seemed there was nothing left in her stomach to come up. She heaved dryly, and then collapsed back into Draco.

"I am so sorry…"he whispered. _What was she going to do now? Hate him forever? _

Hermione turned and looked at his face. It was earnest and sad, and she noticed a little scar she had ever seen before, just below his hair line. I made her think about what he had said.

"_Bad dreams... I thought you were a death eater that had found me…was taking me back…to him"…of course. He is Voldemort! That means…it must mean the death eaters did this to him…hurt him, killed part of him…I wonder how long he was imprisoned by the dark side before he was rescued and…of course! Taken to one of the safest places for him, the Order of the Phoenix Headquarters…_

Hermione was not one of the smartest witches in Britain for nothing. In an instant she worked out why he was here, and why he was so troubled. She understood completely that he didn't want to attack her.

"Oh Draco" she gasped, and began bawling into is chest.

"Its ok, I'm here, I won't hurt you" he scooped her up and carried her over to the bed. He was not exactly sure what she was crying about, but she did seem to forgive him.

Hermione sat on the edge of the bed and picked up a pale scarred hand.

"I understand I think... where you were, why you're here, why you have-"she gazed down at the painful scars, and her eyes filled with tears once more.

"Forget that" he said "but will you forgive me?"

"Of course" Hermione flung her arms around his neck, clinging as though for dear life. When she pulled away she was calm again.

Now she was remembering why she came. Now however, she didn't feel lusty and happy to be with him as she had before. Now she felt a deep desperate desire to make Draco feel loved, after all he had been through. He had no-one but her.

Before Draco had even felt her mood change, she pressed up against him, kissing him hard and passionately. After just a moments hesitation he returned her kiss with matching passion as they both fell back onto the bed. Her hands were under his shirt; his hands were down the back of hers. She squeezed her hands under him and pulled his t-shirt up and helped him pull it off. His hands found their way to either side of her tank top, where he lifted it up and over her head. She wriggled on top of him, at the same time shedding her jeans.

Strong arms were lifting Hermione and putting her on the bed beside him

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he whispered to her intently "I shouldn't, I can't"

Hermione silenced him with a finger to his lips.

"Yes I am completely sure. I love you Draco Malfoy" she whispered, pacing a gentle hand on his chest.

"I love you too, Hermione Granger"


	5. The Jealous and judgmental always make

A/N chapter five! A really excellent chapter, I think

But be warned, this is certainly not a chapter for the Ron lover. Let's just say that we've already seen how jealous Ron can get in the Harry Potter books

And please please review! Also can I say that if you like my story (or don't like it) instead of just saying that it was good and can I update soon, could you say why you like it/things you found interesting because I really want to know! Thank you so much!

**Chapter 5: The Jealous and judgmental always make mistakes-Secret Jealousy**

Hermione woke with start in late afternoon. She turned over in bed to see Draco Malfoy fast asleep next to her. She smiled to herself and lay back, savoring the moment. Then a thought occurred to her; _why did I wake up so suddenly?_ As she thought she heard noises downstairs, and a voice that was distinctly Ginny's yell

"We're home"

_Oh god. _She gently shook Draco

"Draco...Draco! Come on they're home!" He opened his eyes slowly and gazed lovingly at Hermione for seconds before he comprehended what she had said. His face fell quickly

"What? Urgh we did it again!" Both started hunting for clothes, when Hermione realized she could hear footsteps. She struggled franticly into her underwear and was just pulling on her jeans when she heard a knock on the door

"Oi Malfoy, Tonks wanted to talk to you!" Ron mumbled. The two stared at each other in panic. The door was open a crack, however it seemed as though Ron wasn't really willing to come into Draco's room. There was a pause as they both held their breath hoping he would walk away, and were nearly convinced he had gone when Ron spoke again.

"Malfoy…" Ron sighed "I suppose I had better make sure you haven't died or something…not that I would mind" and he swung the door open.

It took about two seconds for Ron's Face to go the same shade as his hair. His eyes darted from Malfoy, who was dressed in just boxers and jeans, to Hermione who, after freezing from shock moments before, was now frantically pulling her jeans the reminder of the way up.

Ron moved slowly toward them, shaking. Draco moved closer to Hermione, and slightly in front of her.

"You…you…" Ron glared at Malfoy, looking as thought he might burst into tears at any moment. Draco looked defiant but cautious all the same.

Ron moved so he was standing barely a foot from Malfoy. The boys were matched almost perfectly in height, Malfoy perhaps having just one inch over Ron.

In a complete mood swing, Ron wound back and punched Draco twice quickly in the face with all the power he could muster.

Blood spattered Hermione and Draco flew back onto the bed, apparently unconscious. Satisfied with this Ron spun round and grabbed Hermione by the upper arms. She could hear loud music playing downstairs, very loud…

"what the yell do you think YOU'RE DOING?" Ron screamed, shaking her hard. She let out a whimper of pain. She began to doubt her revelation that Ron no longer liked her in that way.

That's absolutely none of your busi-"she began shakily, but he interrupted her

"DO YOU REALISE WHO THAT SCUM IS OVER THERE? MALFOY! THAT'S WHO! THE ENEMY! YOU STUPID IDIOT!" Ron's face was contorted with anger, as he forced her to walk backward and slammed her into the wall, still maintaining the painful grip on her arms.

"Ron what are you saying? I am not stupid, and you're the only one acting like an idiot!" Hermione cried indignantly, still struggling to free herself.

What she said only made him Angrier.

"ME? AN IDIOT? I COME IN HERE TO FIND YOU HAVING SEX WITH YOUR SWORN ENEMY! YOU _SLUT_"

"RON" Hermione was becoming hysterical again, wincing as Ron's fingers bruised her flesh, his fingernails drew spots of blood "DON'T SAY THAT, I AM NOT-"

Ron moved so that one of his forearms pushed her chest against the wall, while his other hand forced her jaw shut. He leaned in closer till his nose was just inches from her own and whispered malevolently to her

"You. Are a dirty, stupid, horrible slut. I'm telling you now. Don't forget it." He grinned without a trace of humour.

"You didn't sleep with me. We went out for months, and never once." His voice was deathly quiet.

Hermione forced the hand off her mouth and panted "it didn't feel right then Ron! It felt right this time, with Draco! Not you!"

"you gave your virginity to that slime! Not your best friend of seven years, boyfriend of 4 months! It was your enemy, Malfoy! He doesn't care about you! He'll be off now to tell his friends about his latest adventure in bed!" his voice was rising again. He slammed her into the wall a few times as her spoke, knocking the wind out of her.

"No! That's not true!" she hated Ron for planting doubt in her head, but it was working, and to her own dismay, she realised she was crying.

"Yes. It is" Ron's face hardened and he loosened his grip slightly. Now he looked miserable.

Hermione decided to take advantage of his silence.

"You're just jealous Ron! I know it! Jealous that I gave to him what you always wanted, and could never get! Me! You're pathetic" she spat. For a second she was proud of standing up to him, but then realized too late it was a big mistake.

"HOW-HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT YOU SLUT" Ron's face rearranged itself into its previous twisted anger. His nostrils flared and his eyes widened. Before either of them knew what he was doing, he slammed her harder than ever into the wall, and then punched her in the face. She collapsed into a heap, and he towered over her, punching her in the gut as he spoke;

"NEVER! SAY THAT ABOUT ME! EVER! YOU! DIRTY!-"Ron was pulled away from Hermione's crumpled body by the scruff of his neck; he was turned harshly around to face the fiery grey eyes of Draco Malfoy.

"WHAT THE _HELL_ DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? LEAVE HER _ALONE" _Malfoy roared, by far the loudest of any of them. The music downstairs stopped.

"DON'T YOU EVER, _EVER_ TOUCH HER AGAIN!" Before Ron could reply Draco jumped on top of him forcing him to the ground where he slammed fist after fist into Ron.

"I heard yelling so I came up to-oh my goodness!" Tonks shrieked. She glanced around, taking the discarded clothing, the crumpled figure of Hermione in just jeans and a bra in one corner, and shirtless Draco kneeling on top of a bloodied Ron, fist poised to strike. Jumping to conclusions, as so often people seem to do, cords shot from her wand and twisted themselves around Malfoy's wrists and then pulling him back to the bed where they wound around one of the posts

"LET ME GO, LET ME FINNISH HIM!" Malfoy screamed, straining against the ropes that held him.

"Oh goodness no... I-I really don't know what to do" Tonks was very taken aback by the picture in front of her.

"What's wrong Tonks-WHAT HAPPENED?" Harry appeared by Tonks' side.

Malfoy opened his mouth to speak-

"Silencio. No Malfoy don't tell me, I think it's fairly obvious what happened here. You were making moves on Hermione" Harry stooped to pick up her wrinkled top "When old Ron showed up here and tried to stop you. You decided instead to pound him into a pulp" he glanced over at Hermione "…and you were probably beating her into submission before he came anyway" Harry finished, grimly satisfied with himself. He turned back around to come face to face with Ginny, who was gawping at the scene.

"I can't believe I trusted you Malfoy" Tonks spat "I guess you were just pretending to have changed. Congratulations!"

"Wait a minute." Said Ginny quietly "That cant be right. Draco and Hermione are in love. I've seen them together." Over by the bed the silenced Draco, who had been staring at Hermione over in the corner nodded vigorously.

"Well…what happened then? We saw Malfoy beating up Ron, and Hermione didn't just beat herself up in the corner" Tonks turned to look at Ginny.

"I don't know..." just then Hermione stirred. All eyes went to her. Slowly she opened her eyes and surveyed the room; her eyes passed warily over Ron and came to rest on Draco's bloody and rapidly bruising face.

"Oh, oh Draco..." She crawled over to the bed and pulled herself onto it. She pulled Draco into a hug, and he rested his head on her shoulder. The three standing in the door were speechless.

"Oh god, you're tied up" she croaked. He let her reach behind him and fumble with the ropes.

"ugh I cant get them undone, I'm sorry, I don't have the strength at the moment… your silenced to?" she gazed concernedly at him shocked at the state he was in. she wondered how he had ended up like this, then her gaze fell for the first time at the doorway.

"You three? You did this?" Hermione was too tired to sound angry, and merely sounded upset.

"Yes but…didn't he do that to you?" Tonks was looking confused.

"no! no! Just undo the spells _please!_" hesitantly Tonks withdrew the cord and the silencing charm, seeing as how Harry didn't see capable of speech at the moment.

The moment they were taken back Draco threw His arms around Hermione and whispered fiercely into her ear

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! He hit me and I blacked out then I opened my eyes and saw you lying on the floor with him hitting you…are you hurt? Of course you are, look at you! Come on we'll clean you up"

Harry expected Malfoy to receive a sharp slap for patronizing Hermione, let alone hugging her in just a bra. But she just buried her face into his shoulder and allowed him to slip an arm around her waist and help her walk to the door.

"But" Harry stammered.

"I'll take that, thank you" Draco cut him off coldly and snatched Hermione's top out of his hand.

"I don't get it" Harry continued on.

"I slept with …Draco…Ron found out…he attacked Draco…then me…said horrible things…hit me…Draco…saved me…from…Ron" Hermione mumbled into Draco's bare shoulder as the went towards the bathroom. The other Three were left gaping.

"I don't believe it" muttered Harry

"I do." Ginny spoke up "Ron's insanely jealous. And he never really got over Hermione you see. I bet he went mad when he found those two together"

"She slept with him?"

"Shut up Harry"

"Erm well shall we jut leave him in there to cool off a bit then?" said Tonks eyeing Ron, her voice higher than usual.

As they walked past the bathroom they couldn't resist peeking in. Draco had put Hermione on the bench and pulled her top back on so she was decent. He had conjured a hot water bottle to put on her stomach and was now gently wiping blood from her face.

Ginny sighed "they are so cute together"

Tonks broke into a reculant smile "you said it. Who'd have thought?"

Review please please please! I will love you forever!


	6. What has she done?

Its been a long update and…well who am I kidding, I don't have an excuse, unless you count laziness…sorry

**Chapter 6: What has she done? **

Ginny went back to Hogwarts while the rest of the gang waited at Grimmauld place until it was some for them to become part of the Order.

Hermione was relieved that their relationship was out in the open. Ron was avoiding her, which suited her fine because she flinched every time she saw him. Everyone else however were fun to be around and she was delighted to come across Harry and Draco sitting in the kitchen deep in conversation about who in the Ministry was trustworthy these days. The even laughed together a couple of times; and from there on Harry accepted Draco and made Hermione's life so much easier.

Hermione also took to sleeping in Draco's bed most nights. He often woke shaking and panting from a nightmare, and she liked to be there to calm him down.

_There was a dungeon, stone walls, hard stone floor, and a meager light coming from a torch flickering outside the heavy dungeon door. _

_Draco Malfoy lay huddled in a corner. His skin was thick with grime, his robes even more tattered. Deep cuts spread across his body. Yesterdays punishment. What would happen to him today? Perhaps if he was lucky he would die today, He was bound to soon anyway._

_Shadows could be seen in the dungeon hall. He readied himself, ready to inflict as much pain on whoever was sent to get him today._

"_Draco Malfoy?" that was no death eater. There was someone whispering through the bars set at the top of the door_

"_Mm" he groaned. It was the loudest sound he could muster._

"_Eh Kingsley I think I found him!" more footsteps came over to his cell._

"_Ok listen Draco. We're going to silently blast this door open and come and get you, don't make any noise, we don't want to give away that we're here" ha. As if he could make that much noise anyway._

_The door did indeed blast silently away. In came a tall black man and a young woman with bubblegum pink hair. Now he understood. They were coming to save him. The first buzz of hope he had felt in weeks filled him. He tried to stand up, but for some reason could not._

"_Hang on; don't try to push yourself up, it looks like most of your fingers are broken. Here." The lady bent down with the man and carefully lifted him up, draping his arms over their shoulders. He could see them exchange shocked looks, obviously surprised at his condition._

"_Ooh that looks like a dislocated shoulder, dear me dear me. Kingsley, what's the plan?"_

"_We just need to get out of the dungeons, and then we can apparate back. Now Draco apparating is going to be uncomfortable for you, but we have to get out quickly, d'you see?" Draco managed a nod_

"_Ok here we are in the clear...let's go!" The turned and the sensation of being squeezed through a tube intensified the pain. He opened his eyes to see a grimy street that could have been anywhere, before he blacked out._

Draco opened his eyes. He wasn't panicked as he usually was in the morning, instead feeling tired and lonely. The second emotion faded greatly when he turned to see Hermione lying in bed next to him, wide awake and grinning.

He flopped back down onto the pillows, lying on his stomach with his head turned towards Hermione.

"What did you dream about?" she sat up and shuffled toward him. She gently traced a long scar on his bare back.

"I'm not telling" he couldn't help but smile. It had become a habit of Hermione to trace his scars, and it didn't bother him at all. It felt nice. "Where is everyone?"

"They went out but I said I would stay and wait to you woke up. How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, and you know you really shouldn't let me get in the way of you living your life" He had often wondered if this was the case, but this was the first time he had said anything to her. She needn't become a hermit just to take care of him.

"I know you aren't fine. Don't lie to me please" She said it only quietly. Lines of worry crept onto her face as they sat in silence.

"You're wrong. I'm fine" he turned away.

Hermione sighed miserably "I just wish you would tell me. Why do your fingers sometimes hurt? Where did you get that mark on your jaw? Why are there scars that won't heal all over your body? Why do you flinch whenever I mention you father" Draco cringed "and what on _earth _hurt you so much on the inside?" Hermione plucked the bed sheets pathetically, feeling tears come on.

"Listen" Draco put two slender fingers underneath her chin and made her look at him "don't cry, you really don't want to know those answers anyway. Really! And it hurts me so much more seeing you cry. Remember that time I accidentally hurt you? That way you looked at me then, with tears of panic and terror in you eyes? It made me want to die, you know"

She gave him a watery smile "I know you didn't mean to"

"Yes but I cant stand to see you hurting, inside or out"

"Well I can't stand to see you hurting either Draco" _fair enough_ he thought

"Listen, I might go for a walk"

"But aren't you being hunted down?"

"A few minutes outside wont hurt. If I'm not back in an hour, come looking for me ok?

"I don't know"

He kissed her tenderly on the lips, then on the forehead "don't worry about me" he whispered in here ear "and when I get back, I'll make it up to you" he brushed his cheek against hers for a moment, then strode from the room, pulling clothes on as he went.

_Now there's a deal I hope he keeps_ Hermione smiled wickedly to herself, and went off to have a shower.

An hour came and went. It turned into 2, 3 then 4 hours. Hermione considered going out to look, but convinced herself that he was fine, and needed some time to think.

Finally she heard the door open. She ran to the banister to peer down at Draco's white blond crown, but instead saw Ron, Harry and Tonks

"Oh hi Hermione" said Tonks. Something in her voice was unnatural, as if she was deliberately keeping it even "Is Draco around?"

"Oh, er, why?"

"Well… we had an unconfirmed report that one of the Order saw him carried off by death eaters, but that cant be right, because he's here with you…" Tonks' face fell when she saw Hermione's expression of dismay

"No he left a while back to go for a walk" she said shrilly realizing the problem

"How long ago Hermione?" Tonks looked dead serious.

"Oh just. Just… a little over four hours ago…" she mumbled

Tonks immediately disapparated. Hermione couldn't believe she had let him run outside. She raced up to his bedroom and sunk into his bed. What had she done?

You...yes you! Write a review please! Pwease..


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